Friday, February 7, 2014

Day 303: Have I Seen the Light?

Sometimes I think there is no such thing as fate. We are responsible for what actions we take, and when random stuff happens there is no meaning behind it, you just deal with it. Other times it is like something out there is trying to hit you around the head with a cricket bat because you are not listening to the signs. This Saturday just gone was a day of the latter. It went roughly like this: four hours sleep; angry because there is a dog on my head who doesn't understand it is not getting-up time yet; get up and take the dog for a walk; try to sleep more; no luck; V—— arrives to take me out to look at houses [Aside: I need space; it's time. I will either get a house myself, or there is the option for V—— and I to co-purchase, but if we go that way it needs to be a house which has a separate section where I can hide away like a recluse when I need to. Sometimes I need to, and the more time goes on, the more I need to. The initial idea to buy was mine. V—— has sort of slipped/fallen/been pulled into the whole thing. He wanted to look at places in order to try and understand what it would mean. Remember this. No house we looked at today was ever going to be a house we considered buying. It's too early. But I was excited—the things you can visulaise are the things you can strive towards.] Day continued: tension builds and builds in the car as we head to the hills; an unsubstantial level of irrationality enters discussions; GPS picks anxiety-producing routes; look at house; some raised voices and arguing; lots of tears; get home and find that one or other of the dogs has weasled around, broken into, and eaten what they think is twenty-four sweeties, but is actually what the rest of us know of as twenty-four Advil. Ring the vet and they gave me two options, bring them in here for fluids and overnight stay, or take them to Emergency Care. I took them to the Vet. The vet told me to go to Emergency Care.

List_Addict & Co.         Irene

To get to the important bit first, it is now five days later and they are both back home. We can probably be assured that there was one culprit and one witness, but without words, without a test to say one way or the other, they both had to be treated as if they had eaten them all. Darby's last tests on his kidneys show some damage, with higher levels of kidney-badness (tech term) than he should have, but they seem functional, and he is as naughty and silly as ever. Lollii is perfectly fine despite having to endure everything for nothing. So the queston is, why does this course of events seem more like a sign and less like the random nature of randomness? To me, it is like the 'Universe' was goading me into comparisons. You think that because V—— is unsure and nervous about this commitment you are proposing, that is okay to cry; try this—your dogs may seem perfectly fine and then drop down dead in four days (that was my interpretation of what the vet said). That is something to cry about, isn't it? Or, you can't wait for V—— to get a deposit together because you need this change NOW. Well let's just set your deposit back nearly four grand then. You won't be in such a hurry then will you? Can you see where the idea of cosmic intervention is coming into my head from? But maybe what it all really comes down to is emotion. Because in the clarity that comes with your beloved fur-babies being home and safe, the idea that it was all just coincidence with consequences that need to be dealt with becomes feasible again. I might not run to an exterior entity just yet.


The Outfit
Clearing the Closet: It’s time to go lightweight, comfy blue cardigan that just looks strange at the front
Top: Op-shopped
Cardigan: Op-shopped
Pants: Op-shopped, Boyfriend style?
Shoes: Irregular Choice 'French Villa'


Photographer de Jour: Moi


Who Wore It Better?



Getting linky today with:

pleated poppy






KimbaLikes


2 comments:

  1. Yikes. How stressful. Damn dogs making our lives so wonderful 98% of the time and then 2% of the time utterly miserable. You probably aged 10 years in that one week.

    For us buying our first house was such a huge commitment, even though we'd been married for some 15 years by that time. It felt so permanent. We could no longer up and leave where we lived at a moment's notice.

    I don't regret the decision one bit. I'm happy to no longer "throw away" good $ on rent and instead have it going to towards some equity.

    Our house is quite large, so if we don't want to see the other person that isn't a problem at all. Mind you, since my husband travels so much on business we often spend months apart each year anyhow.

    Trust yourself. You'll know when it's right.

    bisous
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your shoes! So fantastic! Tammy @wildruffle

    ReplyDelete

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