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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Day 57: All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy

Look how tiny is our Irene there. The belts that cut off the circulation to my feet almost go around her waist twice. Is her physique too much to hope for? With my current diet and exercise regime, yes! I wish the good things could lose you calories. Sleeping does burn about half a calorie per pound of weight per hour. If I slept day and night I could probably lose calories into the low thousand and something, and I wouldn't eat because I would be sleeping. That seems easier enough. And watching scary movies is a burner too. Apparently the other night's Valentines gift, Paranormal Activity, is worth about a hundred and eleven calories. The most effective, diet-wise, horror movie to watch is The Shining at a hundred and eighty-four. The jump-out-of-your-skin scary moments are the key. Imagine studying this? Differing reports show knitting burns between twenty-nine and a hundred calories an hour which should get me working on my knitting projects again—especially if it's hot and I can combine knitting and sweating. Um, eeouw! And even the normal daily cleanliness details of your life help. Brushing your teeth for two minutes: bye bye six calories, twenty-six if you stand on one leg while you do it, and a calorie a minute on evacuating your bowels (although there is a limit, physically, as to how long you can do that for). From all this it seems you loose weight by just living, so it really looks like I will have to concentrate on the in-take end of things instead. Damn!

List_Addict               Irene

I need a wardrobe malfunction to make me famous. An incredibly heavy skirt to my dress, a set of stairs and an audience of famous people and televised millions maybe. Or badly positioned chest darts. I need my malfunction to go viral on Twitter. Sometimes when I head out for a fashion shoot and people stare (paraboid much?) at my possibly unusual outfit, and my entourage, I wonder if they think 'There is that lady from Fur Earwig'. I may have to wait for my daily hit count to be slightly higher to start jumping to that conclusion. And then, like they say, I must consider what I wish for. It may be inconvenient to not be able to go anywhere without being recognized, scrutinised, hassled, adored, that sort of thing. May just try to lay low for as long as I can.

The Outfit
Dress: Op-shopped skirt
Shirt: Op-shopped
Belts: Retail
Shoes: Irregular Choice
Photographer de Jour: B——



Who wore it better?

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