White Trainers: Made for athletes and that's where they should stay.
White Trainers: Firstly, is it actually possible to get a pair of white runners? They usually only come in colour-kaleidoscopes. So white sneakers say you are someone who knows what you want and will search high and low to get it. Shoes are important to you. As is their maintance, because if you don't treat white trainers well, they won't stay white. And you don't denegrade them to the sole purpose of function. You are brave enough to wear them as fashion—sporty fashion, but fashion none the less.
Street shoes: Vans, Nikes, New Balance, Converse: hip for students and early 20s. Dress up and dress down but there are limits.
Street shoes: Vans. Nikes, New Balance, Converse: hip even if you are not a student in your early 20s. Yes, there are limits, but I don't see why there should be limitations. Anyone with half a brain is not going to wear these to a corporate office job, but then again, anyone with half a brain would also have a sequined pair under their wedding dress for the hard-yard, lots of walking, parts of a wedding day. And with a last count of approximately four million styles collectively, these shoes say that you can make a decision. I never wear them because I am still deciding.
Brogues: Visually reek of being dependable, not extrovert.
Brogues: Has this writer looked at a fashion spread, a celebrity or a runway sometime in the last, say, two years? Brogues are everywhere. They're loudly and proudly everywhere. You can depend on them to make you look fashionable. You can depend on them to make you look hip. You can depend on them to make you look edgey. And, of course, none of those necessarily mean you are an extrovert. You may just be a well dressed and fashion-adventurous introvert. But brogues are the shoes of people who take a chance with fashion.
Loafers: Yes, you do take care of yourself, but what about me?
Loafers: Yes, you do take care of yourself, or your feet at least. I am not sure what your footwear has to do with how you treat me though? Is the Herald Sun saying the loafer is the shoe of the egocentric? The loafer is the shoe of the busy. The busy shopping, the busy on boats, the busy brunching, the busy doing the school run. It's not my shoes that make me forget about you Herald Sun, it's my busyness.
Knee high boots: You're open to conversation but don't be a prat, and you need long legs.
Knee high boots: The Herald Sun appears to be implying that the knee high boot is the CFM boot of the person who has some standards of who they F. I would like to imply that the knee high boot is one of the most practical and sensible of shoes there is. A knee high boot is all about comfort, support, warmth, longevity. If you want a boot that is all about sex you have to go a lot higher than the knee, and then the exclusivity clause of preferably long legs may have some ground. But to me the knee high boot is for when you don't want to wear socks with your loafers. Or, when you want to wear heels without twisting your ankle on those raised spotty tiles at pedestrian crossings.
There is lots more to come: see Tuesday and Wednesday for more derision of this ridiculous article.
Who wore it better?
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