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Day 225: Where I Deride Some Stuff

My mum always said that people who wear red shoes don't get corner offices. She also said that if you have intimate relations too early in life you get arthritis, that she never drank alcohol until she was the legal age, and that she never made me brown corduroy plus-fours, so we have to take that all with a pinch of salt. (Sorry Mum, just taking cheap shots because I love you! Xxx - How is level seventy-nine going?) I don't think my Mum, with her red-shoe theories would have got near the level of silliness the Herald Sun did when they sat down in all seriousness(?) to tell us what our shoes say about us. See yesterday and tomorrow for the full story, but read below as I debunk some of theirs with bunk of my own today.

Short Ankle-Length boots: A sense of fun but ambitious and determined.

Short Ankle-Length boots: A sense of where your feet end and your legs begin. How you look in these will tell a lot about what you know of the extremities of your body. I am sorry to say this, because I think everyone should be entitled to whatever is available to everybody else—and these are available to everyone. But. They will not look good on everyone. Sorry. It's a plain fact like how lots of daisies are white with yellow middles, and Daniel Craig has those nice s-shaped grooves on his lower abdomen. If you look good in these shoes you are self-aware, if you don't you have cankle-denial. (I was trying to be funny and just got mean. Apologies.)

Wedges: Shoe confidence, suggests being extrovert.

Wedges: Oh Herald Sun, if you mean they exude the aura of a confident women it is because they feel less likely to fall over in these. Wedges aren't confidence, they are height with stability. And if you mean confident women wear them because they are women who don't care that men (apparently, I heard somewhere) hate them, then you may be, can I say it, right. Wedges say 'I'm wearing these anyway' and 'I don't care what you think, I like their strappy tops and comfortable bottoms'. These shoes say you can have your cake and eat it, and then walk away from the cake without concentrating. Although, I still always imagine I am going to fall over.

Irene               List_Addict

Thongs: Only at home, on the beach and in Australia.

Thongs: For the Americans, Canadians, UK-ians, or basically non-antipodeans, we are still talking shoes here. Think flip-flops. There are two types of thong/flip-flop and so we need to differentiate. On the first type, the three dollars at your local two dollar shop, rubber wearhouse or very large discount store chain type can definitely be the shoe of homes and beaches—world-wide. Same, with the exception of the beach, with your Uggs. No, sorry, don't care which fashionistas and stars wear them out, they are basically long slippers. Remember who makes celebrities celebrities and don't let this lead you into thinking it is an acceptable practice. The other type are the fancy, bejewelled, bedazzled, maybe even wedged or raised type. To me this says two things about you: you have no sensitivity in the space between your big toe and all the others (because those bejewelley things and those raised thongs always seem to create a convergence of pain right in that spot), and, you think that a little bit of bling will make a thong not-a-thong. Wrong. It's still a thong, it just has pain-inducing bits stuck to it. It will take you to a few more (casual) places than your runner thong, but we'll still hear the flick-flack-flick of you arriving there. You don't have to be a genius to get this one right. The Herald Sun did.

Stilettos: Uber feminine, outgoing personality, enjoys new experiences.

Stilettos: Terry de Havilland, the London shoe designer once said of the stiletto: 'People say they are bad for the feet, but they're good for the mind. What's more important?' With this shoe lies the ability to make or break feminist thought, but it will be in the mind. Because on the surface, this shoe is all about the sexualisation of women. We may be done with corsets and boning and bustles, but we still have the stiletto. It is a shoe that makes the leg longer and slimmer, it makes the foot appear smaller, it alters the gait to one more submissive and one in which the bottom and breasts are pushed out. It makes woman a desirable sexual object. It is, I think, the hardest shoe to read. Are you dressing in it for men, or for other women? Are you succumbing to an ideal of feminine beauty or thwarting it? Do you just like how they make you feel, tall, powerful, sexy, unable to walk in steps larger that seven inches? It's in your mind, and we'll never really know.

Final instalment tomorrow. See yesterday if you didn't get the start of this mega rant. Am I taking this all too seriously? Can you take shoes too seriously? Or seriously enough?

The Outfit
Dress: Op-shopped
Jacket: Target
Necklace: Diva
Shoes: Irregular Choice 'Jam Tart' (yes, full sized lotus flowers)

Photographer de Jour: Moi

Who wore it better?

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  1. I will have to google Terry De Havilland, my newest kindred spirit.

  2. Well, you had me at thongs. I am loving these posts, and thanks for sharing with Visible Monday!

  3. Love your mom's theories, hilarious!

  4. This is such a fun post! I love the views and theories and I'm not sure what it says about me but red shoes are my favorite, and I wear all of the above. But typically not at the same time :) Such fun!!!
    xo ~kim & chloe


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